Remember back in the summer of 2025 when there was a string of dildo-tossing incidents at WNBA games? A parade of misogynistic, greedy jerks hurled sex toys onto the court during games, only for everyone to later discover it was part of a marketing campaign to pump some worthless meme coin? Well, committing dangerous public nuisances in the name of imaginary internet money has happened again, this time to the beloved internet sensation, Punch the Monkey. That’s the tiny orphaned primate everyone fell in love with just a couple of months ago.
Quick refresher on Punch the monkey, in case you’ve already forgotten since two months ago might as well be 2,000 years ago: Punch is a Japanese macaque living at the Ichikawa City Zoo outside Tokyo. His mother abandoned him, and his fellow monkeys routinely attacked him. He became internet famous as everyone’s favorite parasocial monkey when pictures and videos of him fleeing attacks while gripping a stuffed orangutan doll went viral.
According to the New York Times, Japanese authorities arrested two American men after one allegedly climbed into Punch’s enclosure while the other filmed it. Videos show a guy in a bright blue suit and a giant smiley-face mask hopping the fence. The monkeys immediately scattered in panic as zoo staff rushed in to remove him.
Authorities now say that the stunt was all done to promote a memecoin. Since anyone can create their own cryptocurrency, the market is flooded with a bunch of trash coins that no one gives a darn about. So, every once in a while, a band of morons who created one will also try to drum up some controversy to get its name out there, likely in an attempt to spike its value, and what I am going to guess will eventually result in a pump and dump scheme so its creators can make a ton of money while leaving everyone else holding the bag.
Thankfully, zoo officials confirmed that none of the animals were hurt. They are now installing intrusion nets and increasing patrols, and all because two grown, idiotic American men decided to cause some panic so they could profit off of it.
Nothing more American than that.
