Why meaningful social ties matter for introverts’ health

Caroline Ferrante understands that many people don’t understand her introversion.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be around people; rather, it’s about how extended social situations can drain my particular battery,” said Ferrante, who lives in Stratford. “I have to be very defensive of the little energy I have, and social situations (especially larger ones) drain that battery quickly.” 

Not everybody’s social battery is as strong as the Energizer Bunny’s.

Some people drain easily from socialization, and others generate barely a spark of enthusiasm at even the idea of social connection. 

That can be problematic since a vast amount of research emphasizes the value of social connections to longevity, said Dr. Andre Newfield, regional medical director, department of psychiatry at St. Vincent’s Medical Center. “Longevity is related to social connections,” Newfield said. “Part of the issue nowadays is that we’ve created so many off ramps, like social media, that make it very easy” to connect virtually with others, he said. “But when we’re talking about social connections, the literature strongly indicates that it’s much more face-to-face than it is through social media. In terms of all of the indicators of health, those are going to be more dictated by the face-to face-interaction.”

Being socially disconnected is associated with higher risk of illnesses, including heart disease, stroke, anxiety, depression, and dementia, according to Harvard Medical. Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy underscored the danger of social disconnection in his 2023 report proclaiming that the U.S. was experiencing an “epidemic of loneliness and isolation.” In it, he said that lacking social connection is as dangerous as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. Conversely, a study in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine found that social connections can increase long-term survival by 50%. 

Nevertheless, said Dr. Neha Jain, a geriatric psychiatrist at UConn Health. “It would be simplistic to assume that introverts are not socially connected.”

According to a 2023 YouGov poll, among 39% of Americans described themselves as introverts, 9% say they are completely introverted and 29% say they are more introverted than extroverted. 

Socializing, which might seem festive to many, is not easy for others, said Dr. Edna Rodriguez, director of behavioral health at Trinity Health of New England. “Everybody channels their social energy differently,” she said. “As humans we’re hard wired for connecting with others,” she said. “But there is a big difference between being alone and desiring a social connection (when) you don’t have one. Being at home and enjoying it is valuable. That connection with the self is really impactful.”

What’s important for longevity is the strength of friendships, said Jain. “When it comes to social networks, it’s not just the size that matters,” she said. “What’s more important is the quality of one’s social network, what a person gets from that network, and how an individual perceives that support.”  

 Rodriguez agreed. “You can be around 1,000 people and still be alone and you can be with one person and feel totally understood,” she said. 

Despite its value, social interaction can be exhausting to both introverts and extroverts, according to a study in the journal Helion. “People tend to engage in some level of self-presentation in the presence of others, even close others,” study authors wrote. “Social interaction requires effort.” 

Just thinking about the effort involved in going out to socialize can itself stop a person from socializing, said Dr. Charles Herrick, a psychiatrist at Northwell Health. “Often, when we are looking forward to something, whether with trepidation or with excitement, we forget that what we remember of an experience is its end effect.” 

He cites himself as an example. “My wife is a little more adventurous than I am so on the spur of the moment she will say ‘Let’s go,’ and I’m always like ‘I don’t know if if I want to drive all the way down there.” As he’s aged, he said, he has learned to say “‘absolutely,’ because I know that once I get down there and have the experience I’m going to remember that and it’s going to be valuable to me. You don’t remember the time you spend in  preparation. Time will pass no matter what you do.” 

Introverts who recognize a need to socialize —many of whom are young and have a “skills deficit” because of the pandemic lockdown, Rodriguez said  — should start by asking themselves what interests them, experts said. “Find something that feels safe and cool for you,” Rodriguez said.  “Maybe you feel more comfortable going to a journaling club or a book club,” she said. 

Herrick agreed. “For many people who are shy or introverted, the way to get into relationships and build relationships is through activities you enjoy,” he said. “Engage in those activities and that’s where you’re going to make friends.” 

Jain said it’s fruitless to try to get an introvert to fake extroversion.

“Exercise, regular healthcare visits, and social engagement —a few good meaningful relationships, social activities that are stimulating and rewarding without being exhausting —volunteering, joining a gardening or book club or even a yoga class, can go a long way towards mitigating any health risks,” she said.